How can parents learn to watch for warning signs that may indicate their children are headed toward a violent confrontation? Time magazine’s (12/20/99) premature exposure of the Columbine killers’ home videos reveals that the only remorse they felt was for their parents. Knowing that the parents will go through hell as a result of the impending school massacre, Eric Harris on camera speaks directly to them: "There’s nothing you guys could’ve done to prevent this."
And it’s going to happen again.
The last month of the 20th century did not go gently into the night, but brought
more cries of pain and anguish from school shootings in Oklahoma and as far
away as the Netherlands. "I know my mom and dad will be in shock and disbelief,”
Harris says. “I can’t help it. Sorry. Goodbye."
Parents’ Arcade
Eric was wrong. If his parents had known what to watch for, I’m sure they would have taken action to block the rampage. Parents are the first line of defense, and it’s the responsibility of the community and society to provide proactive forms of support for the parents.
Along with stopping kids from using drugs and keeping guns out of their hands, ways must be found to eliminate other sources of endangerment. On the national level, the Justice Department and the Federal Trade Committee have initiated studies to determine if the entertainment industry is guilty of enticing children "to watch violent films, listen to explicit music, and play murderous video games."
You may remember the old Chinese proverb: "Tell me, I forget. Show me, I remember. Involve me, I understand." One way to help parents and teachers to better understand kids’ behavior might be hands-on experiences in an adult arcade in some central location like the County Seat, available to groups of parents by appointment.
Let me be your guide. Your first stop is the Listening Station. You may have heard kids talking about Marilyn Manson, who is actually a male singer of a shock-rockers group. Here, put on this headset and push that button.
| You’ll understand when I’m dead. Saw heaven and hell Were lies. When I’m god Everybody dies. |
You’d better take off the headset or you’ll soon hear the dirtiest word in the English language. Now read this card from the "File of Potentially Dangerous Hate Songs." It will inform you that 15-year old Richard Kuntz killed himself while listening to that song and that the boy’s father is suing Marilyn Manson. If you find at home Manson’s album "Antichrist Superstar," you may want to engage in some destructive censorship.
Next Station: Follow me. This next station is running a video that consists of a collation drawn from such violent movies as "Natural Born Killers," "Basketball Diaries," "The Matrix," even from "Saving Private Ryan." At the end of the scenes, there are remarks by Senator Joe Lieberman: "Scientific research has documented the effects of television and movie violence on children’s behavior."
If you haven’t had much experience with computers, you’ll have a brief introduction from the learning center’s technician. Here we go, right into a chat room. Would you like to meet a perfect stranger, maybe a child molester? Or would you like to learn how to make a bomb by dipping into the Terrorist’s Handbook? Do you want to buy a gun or some liquor? How about experiencing the toxic fumes of 1,400 hate sites. The computer expert can show you how to block with Cyber Patrol (the one used by many public libraries), but he’ll warn you that a bright kid can get around it.
The best is yet to come. Let’s stop at the Evil Station. Here, take this gun. Oops, you pulled the trigger and sent a head flying off the screen. Welcome to Doom or Quake, the splatter games. You’ve been appointed first-person shooter. You’ll learn how to point and shoot by reflex action. Look out! A huge Rambo guy is blasting away at you with a Sidewinder gun. Leap aside and fire. See the green laser beams explode and hit Rambo? Chunks of flesh hit the walls and body parts fall like bloody rain. Don’t you feel a rush of excitement from "fragging" your opponent? Don’t you just want to go on blowing bodies to smithereens?
You’d better sit down and rest. Did you know that the two Columbine killers had nurtured their violent revenge fantasies by playing splatter games? After killing a black classmate, they joked about the huge splash of blood and brains. Lt. Col. Dave Grossman says: "We are training our kids to kill. The fantastic accuracy of the kids who shoot their classmates and teachers happens because they practice killing on their video games." Look around. There are stations to demonstrate that the once-gentle Nintendo games have grown darkly combative. At the Disney Cartoon Station, you’ll witness a six-year-old, after watching a cartoon, leap to his feet and yell at his brother "I’ll suck out your brains." Pokemon seems innocent enough, but could lead to more dangerous obsessions. Over here is a taped lecture on toning down the adulation of jock athleticism.
Behind this screen is a place for parents to discuss mutual problems, like children feeling as if they don’t belong in town because community leaders seldom ask for their input.
A Dream?
I hope you’ve enjoyed your tour. Come back again. Go home. Tonight you might startle your little computer urchins by clicking on the "history" tab and showing them that you can read a list of every site the computer has visited recently. If you find a number of visits to HotXXXXX, you can skip the uncomfortable lecture on the birds and the bees.
Practice saying: "No, you can’t rent the video ‘Reservoir Dogs.’" "Turn off those slam-bam cartoons right now." "With all the good music in the world, stay away from Eminem!" "As long as you put your feet under my table, I’ll read your e-mail." These orders are blunt, but most teenagers are hungry for genuine parental attention. It’s a matter of striking a balance between tender and tough. It’s also comforting to remember that 14 million of them go to school and do not kill their classmates. If you catch your son in an arcade engaging in a multiplayer gang bang death match and yelling: "I’ll blow your head off," you’ll know what to do from the instructions given to you at the Parents’ Arcade. Without embarrassing him, lead him outside. Tell him you admire his manipulative skills and quick responses to game emergencies, but that you’re afraid he’s blurring the line between fantasy and reality. Look into his eyes, tell him he deserves your respect, listen carefully to his response, and tell him louder than ever before that you love him.
